Ferris wheel 2

11 May2005

The Ferris w h e e l

I have not fed since centuries two ago

hunger for blood

exists even when my demise was the final blow

My hypnotic power is not of weakness and inhibition but demanding seduction that only ends in eternal damnation

If I choose to f e e d

I have no patience of any kind for the living and my unreserved non-existence relies on the taking of what will never be mine

I have not fed because   I chose   I cannot   I will not   cooperate with the fate of a lifeless death with crimson lust eternal staining my every thought

I am stronger than the force that is damned immortality and praised for nil   I will not   I won’t allow   the thirst to take over the hunger

If I choose to f e e d

Butchery to have life is termed a disease of the deadliest

A plague I am of

I myself would die if only I would be free of this curse

Instead I live my death alone

Filled with empty hunger pains of an endless nightmare with no beginning fueled by the fumes of imagination to be mortal

Shall I walk into the inferno of day

Like a coward I cannot because the hunger keeps me at bay in the darkness where anything     will hide   even the dead 

The bloody hunger grows like the cities I have lived; the countries I have seen destroyed

I have watched birth and death in one thoughtless dream of reality

History I appreciate not because of the books that have been edited through time but the knowledge of being present before it was

Such knowledge should let me starve and be none of the next day I despise, but

My strength is my weakness   I will not let the desire   I will not let the evil

become my reflexive devil

Imagination has not fed the stomach of malevolence

My mind has lost sustenance and my two hundred seventy year hunger   will not see the next raven colored sky without one of two deadly satisfactions

My metamorphosis into a creature without sight stalls the pain of lacking a reflection

The cool black oxygen of the surrounded stars is a beautiful flight that has not been seen for many nights

                   If I choose to f e e d

          When I feed

I cannot

Being eternally damned already, the sin of self inflicted death can only come twice

A mortal sin is an immortal’s gift

Neither is appreciated until the choice is gone

Bleed the nightmares off the fangs of

Lonely deceit that is anger filled and

Overzealous of the living breaths steaming verve

Overpowered by the thought of when I f e e d   I close my ancient eyes and let the victims

Devour my hunger like cities ravaged with a plague

                                                                                              

                                                                    I  f e e d